I cannot say enough about the change I had in my heart and mind.
What, specifically, makes you happiest about writing?
I can't remember ever being this happy while writing. I mean, sure, I'm always all psyched up and excited about my current project when I start. But that always used to fizzle out. And then the frustration would set in. After that...the perpetual break from writing.
I was never serious about it, I guess. That had to be a part of it.
Well, everyone, since my incredible transformation...I have been writing non-stop for over a week. Every single day I sit down and I write. I don't stop writing. The best part of it is that I do not feel any sort of stress and no sort of pressing need to "fulfill my destiny" as a writer or whatever the hell.
I am happy.
I can't believe I can say that and actually know what it means. I thought I was happy writing before, but I was always met with anger and depression when I hit that inevitable wall. Since realizing the root of my problem and discovering the reason I feel the NEED to write, and therefore creating all that stress, I've been on cloud nine.
I can now say that I have completed over 40 pages of the script's first draft. I feel like this story is flowing naturally, and everything is coming together in the way that it needs to. It's unbelievable. I haven't felt like my writing has ever been this successful. Now I have a chance.
I am still writing just for the love of it. I am not writing to be a super successful writer - a household name. The joy I am getting, that happiness that I understand now, is coming strictly from actually putting the words on the page. That is what I love. If I one day become someone people talk about like Tarantino, Cameron, Sorkin, the Cohens, the Wachowskis...well, that's just a bonus.
I am not a writer. I am a creator. And I create through writing.
More details on my current exercise soon. I just felt the need to express how awesome it's been this past week.