Friday, September 23

Stagnation

Good news, bad news time.

Do you find it difficult to juggle multiple ideas?

I do have good news. I'm happier. I'm coming out of that funk that had me so down recently. Thank goodness. I just kind of realized it today while working. I just feel better. I think there was a combination of things that really helped me out this time. There was definitely that comic book signing with J.T. Krul and Sterling Gates. It went so well. It was awesome. I've met Sterling once before, and it was cool seeing him again. And meeting J.T. was just an absolute treat. I'm a big fan of his writing, and to finally get to speak with him about things was so fun. Also, a band that I love, Thrice's new album dropped on Tuesday. Needless to say, it was fantastic. I've listened to it countless times since getting it. I also got a hold of Foster the People's album...and that thing is FUN. It's been doing a great job of keeping me bouncy and upbeat.

So there have been a few things helping me to remember to stay happy lately. The bad news is, unfortunately, about writing. All of my "Brother" materials are still sealed away in our old computer...and I cannot get them off at this time. It appears whenever I turn the computer on, it never properly boots all the way to the desktop. So, my initial solution of just moving all my files to an external HD or a flash drive won't work at this moment...and we'll have to figure something else out.

Since I am uncomfortable continuing to write for "My Missing Brother" without the rest of my pre-written material, and I am still anxious to write, I have to come to a difficult decision. Something I've fallen victim to more than once in the past. Do I temporarily abandon this exercise for another?

I'm really hesitant to make this decision. More than once, my past, fickle self will just leap from one project to another with no rhyme or reason...simply subject to my whim. Even though I do have a reason this time, it still feels like it used to. And I'm afraid it will encourage old bad habits for future ideas and exercises. I treat it like a gateway drug, you know? I'm afraid that changing over, officially, to another exercise of mine will jeopardize my newfound dedication and allow my mind to flippantly decide it wants to write something else whenever it wants.

Can I trust myself to make this decision, and stay dedicated?

Can I hold myself accountable for these ideas and promise to come back to it when it's time?

Another thing that's getting me on this is that this exercise, "My Missing Brother", really meant something to me, and was very close to who I am and why I write. It was meant to be somewhat exorcising. So, leaving it behind for something else feels like I'm betraying myself.

So a simple solution comes up: Why not just start over?


That's definitely a possibility I have not overlooked. I have the Celtx screenwriting program on the new computer, so why not just restart writing the script? A rewrite could possibly help strengthen certain areas as well. Give me a fresh start. But without the original material, I feel like I would be missing things. It'd feel like flying deaf and blind. So, who cares? Right? I should just at least try it, yes? If it doesn't work, then at least I've exhausted my options, and I wouldn't feel as guilty, possibly, in moving on to another exercise for the time being.

There is that. The other side of it is these other exercises are very attractive to me. They're exciting and fresh. I look at the one about the struggling screenwriter and a fire lights under me. I look at my fantasy-setting story, and I become inspired, imagining sprawling landscapes. I think about the story about the group of friends growing up, and I am filled with all sorts of ideas about how these people will be struggling through their lives.

So why not just start with a new one anyway? Without even attempting a rewrite on "My Missing Brother"?

That's where I'm torn. My feelings about both sides of it are strong, and I cannot decide. So that's causing inaction. Maybe I should just flip a coin. If I simply cannot decide...let's allow fate to decide. So here we go. I'm actually doing this write now, as I type.

Heads: I attempt a rewrite of "My Missing Brother"
Tails: I move on to another exercise for now

Call it! [flip]

Wow. After I caught it, I had to take a moment to breathe before looking.

It's Heads.

So there you go. It seems much easier with the decision out of my hands. I understand how Two-Face feels now. I feel calmer. Ready.

No more agony for me right now. I'm going to get started on this soon.

Do you find it hard to work on multiple stories at one time? What kind of techniques do you employ to keep them separated in your mind and writing area? Or do you feel totally loyal to one story until it's finished? How many ideas have you started and then left behind? How many of those were left behind for no apparent reason?


Thanks for reading!

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