Failure?

So I must concede defeat. I must acquiesce to the challenge. I must lay down before the weight of this stone crushes me.

There are two problems I have.

One is, unfortunately, after several attempts to draw a genuine, believable "through-line" out of the story given in the book, I was unable to build a real successful story. I was unable to truthfully create content for a screenplay that remains wholly true to the story in the book.

The other problem is that, because of this inability, I have become extremely stagnant in my writing overall. Notice the lack of updates on this blog alone. So I've been a bit depressed about all that: not being able to write at all. I'm not bitter, or upset at the book adaptation project, but I have other stories that are more developed than this that I put on hold to work on this adaptation.

I just think that, for someone at my level and experience of writing...I'm not quite ready to take on this challenge. I honestly do believe that somewhere there is a story that has the proper elements to create a compelling film, but I and my skill are not able to find it at this time, and it's having a vampiric effect on me - draining me of my energy, my will to write, and my time.

I must, sadly, step down. I do not want to be that disappointment to my grandmother; I love her to pieces. I know that I told her that I would do this...but without help, it's just something I would not be able to do at this point in my life. It is not genuine to what I can write about. Myself, as a writer, am unable to be sincere about this.

That, of course, does not signal the end to this blog. My chambers are deep, indeed, for I am a nautilus. I constantly construct new chambers around me in which to house my most prized possessions, and most cherished creations. I have so much to show. I shall now refocus my efforts into a story that I am 100% about, and something that is truly what I am as a writer.

Please feel free to continue following this blog, or keep coming back as I make new posts to check up on me, as I go back to stories that motivate me to the likes that I remember.

Lag

So there has not been an update in some time, I see. I've been aware of this as the week moved on. Here I am telling more people about this blog, asking them to read about it, and even telling them, "Yeah, so I update this about twice a week." ...Yet there hasn't been a new post for one and a half weeks.

There is a reason for this. The past week has been somewhat of an unpredictable one. Usually I use the time I have at work to read the book I'm adapting. Lately, that time has been preoccupied by something else, where that time exists. So not only has this past work week been a bit busy, but I've also been distracted. "Boo," I know. Beyond work, I, myself, have been feeling stranger than normal. There have been some up and some down moments since my last posting. And that has affected my mood and desire to continue this project.

I do plan on picking it back up this week, and get back on the ball...so hopefully I won't become so easily distracted again. On the plus-side, a neighbor of mine gave me a new scriptwriting program that I haven't tried yet. Normally, I just use Celtx, because it's awesome (and before that, my own recorded macros in Microsoft Word). So I'm excited to check out this other software. Can't remember exactly what it's called at this time, but I'll update again with more on that later.

I'm trying to pull myself up out of this slump, and trying to make myself feel better...while also not distracting myself too much as well. I realize that this adaptation will need a lot of work, dedicated time and energy, but sometimes it's so easy to lose sight and focus on the goal. Perhaps I should get back on the Ritalin...that may help. I'll keep updating on how that goes as well (so long as I have some left).

Story

So I promised I would talk about the book I am adapting. I mentioned before that I am taking the book my grandmother wrote and adapting that into a screenplay, as a gift to her. It's going to be my first real, "professional"-grade screenplay, and also my first adaptation. I must admit...I'm very excited.

The title of the book is Zero Degrees of Separation. It centers around the character, Christina, who dies from a terminal illness and is then guided to the other side by Angelic figures. Once there, she must re-learn everything that her soul-self has always known, and forgets with every return trip to the Earth plane.

So the interesting issue I am seeing as I get further and further into the book is the timeline of the story that is told. There is definitely a story in here, with enough conflict to be had, and roadblocks to keep characters from their goals, but it's going to be an issue of timing and placement with this adaptation. I can already tell that the major events that happen in the book will need to be reordered for film story purposes.

I'm nearly halfway through the book now, and I have to completely finish it before I start making big story decisions like that. Though in reading through it at this point, it's definitely intriguing picturing the scenes in my head as they would appear on the screen. It's also fun to guess the progress of scenes and how the through-line of the story will carry Christina to the end.

There is not much else to update at this time...beyond everything I've said so far, so please come back soon to hear more about this interesting process.

Now, my grandmother is still trying to get the message of her book out there to other people in need. It's a great book to help those that are close to death, or know someone who is, come to terms with the idea of passing on. She is an expert and a trainer for hospice care, and does outstanding work for the Twilight Brigade, Compassion in Action. Please check out their non-profit organization here.

If you're interested in purchasing a copy of the book yourself, check out this link to Amazon.com. Any contributions are greatly appreciated.

Prologue

Alright then, welcome to my blog.

The purpose of all of this is to give me some inspiration, and to chronicle my journey. I am an aspiring screenwriter, trying to carve a path for myself into mainstream movie-making. I believe I have the ability, the talent, and drive to make it into "the business", and I definitely have the proper tools in place.

So this blog will be my "journal" of sorts - my outlet for all things concerning writing, my writing, and whatever else happens to cross my mind. Hopefully I'll obtain followers along the way...which is to say hopefully this blog will be interesting to people besides my own self.

While working through the various writing projects I've begun, I have found a certain lack of drive at some point through the thing. I'm hoping this will allow me a place away from under par performance, and a sort of "inner sanctum" to how I'm feeling and what I'm thinking about my work. A way to unwind and explain what is or isn't coming to me. That way hopefully this will inspire me to continue writing or at least working on it somehow...and my writing will inspire new posts on this blog.

So that's the plan. Having said so much...my project is an adaptation of a book my grandmother wrote a few years back. She has been trying to get it made into a film for a while now, with the help of some friends who are more "in-the-know", with little success so far mainly on the screenwriter aspect of it. So, angry with the pathetic try the last hiree attempted, I offered myself up to adapt the book. She agreed, of course, and I am excited to get it done.

I have begun already with re-reading her book and taking notes to form the main timeline of the film and what I want to happen when. I am currently one-fifth of the way through the story, and hope to start on my major note-taking once I am finished. I'll be updating this blog regularly throughout, again, in the hopes to inspire myself in numerous ways.

I hope you follow along on this journey: my very first, potentially-professional, feature-length adapted screenplay. I'll talk more about the book I'm working on in a later post, when I have more of an idea of what I'll be doing. For now, take note that it is a story about death, the afterlife, and the lives of those who are left behind on the Earth plane.

See you next time!