Distress

Here we go again, with those crazy ups and downs of mine.

What are some things that always ruin your writing mood?

Because I'm still not in the position where I'm being paid to write - and therefore do not have a much more real motivator to actually do the writing - I continue to operate under the fickle mindset of either I do feel like writing or I do not feel like writing.

I know there are some people out there who will say this does not matter. As a wise, old, green, pointy-eared man once said, "Do or do not. There is no try." And this much is very true in most cases. The same could be said even about this case as well.

But I'm not necessarily talking about some kind of crazy whim that takes control of my mood and says, "Oh, you're going to play video games instead," and then I follow. No, I mean what happens when you are truly upset about something, and there is absolutely no possible way you could bring yourself to write.

A few things are happening for me right now. I am at the tail-end of a very stressful move to our new residence, and so everything is still so in-motion and not yet locked-down. Also because of this, I'm also very tired from all the physicality involved (which, let's be honest, I'm not used to). We'll add to being tired with a new second job I've taken up at nights on the weekend (which means, on Saturday, I'm working two full-time jobs) to render me absolutely exhausted. I don't want to say I'm complaining...but I suppose I am. But I need the second job right now.

Finally, a large amount of work I had been doing on the "Brothers" story I was writing is now missing. The only completed work I have so far is not even half of what was originally done. I'm not sure if it's saved in another location that I cannot find, or if I accidentally saved over the last draft with the one I currently have. Either way, that's causing a lot of hardship, though I guess I could choose to look at it positively and say that it's an opportunity for a fresh start (which I've already begun).

So put all of that together, and you have one incredibly stressed-out guy. I'm beginning to lash out at others around me for idiotic things, I'm always tired, and I'm hating my job right now. I miss my friends, and I'm seriously sick of boxes. The good news is, after today, the move should be finished.

I wrote a short that I want to share, and will soon, about my frustrations with my job...and how my problems are laughable compared to the hardships of others. I'm actually pretty proud of what I did, because I was very truthful and revealing about myself. I ended up slightly hating the story because of how honest it was.

I'll probably post it up here soon, who knows?

Soundtrack [1]

Hello!

Oftentimes I listen to music to help me with my creating. I tend to create a playlist that I repeat over and over again while I write, a playlist that appeals to the mood and nature of what I'm writing. I'm sure I'm not the only one. Anyway, I thought I'd share my current playlist. Maybe you can figure out what I'm writing based on the contents (and yes, it's different than the cartoon, and the previous "My Missing Brother" projects).





First up, to give it a certain Victorian flare, the Sherlock Holmes movie scores by Hans Zimmer.

          

Then is the following, a series of rock - or pop-ish - songs that match in both mood and content.

1. "Give It All" - Rise Against
2. "Hoods on Peregrine" - Thrice
3. "Big Man With A Gun" - Nine Inch Nails
4. "Wake Up" - Rage Against the Machine
5. "Welcome to Our New War" - Story of the Year
6. "Vox Populi" - 30 Seconds to Mars
7. "Now Rise" - Taproot
8. "Prayer of the Refugee" - Rise Against
9. "Capital G" - Nine Inch Nails
10. "Splinter" - Sevendust
11. "This Is War" - 30 Seconds to Mars
12. "The Day the World Went Away" - Nine Inch Nails
13. "Feed the Machines" - RED
14. "Facepeeler" - Taproot
15. "Pet" - A Perfect Circle
16. "Counting Bodies Like Sheep to the Rhythm of the War Drums" - A Perfect Circle
17. "You're Going Down" - Sick Puppies

So that's everything. A lot of anti-establishment, and a good helping of industrial-sounding music. Whatever could that mean?

Hope

Check that out, a light at the end of the tunnel...

What gives YOU hope?

Every now and then, I get this feeling. I look at the things around me, at the position I'm in, and I feel a little funny inside. It's really hard to explain just what it does to me, but stomach-dwelling butterflies are involved for sure. A feeling of privilege is present. And a happiness comes into harbor.

It's hope. An extreme positive outlook on my future. Because of how hypercritical I can be of myself, and of how distracted and disheartened I can get, this feeling is rare...especially when it's this strong.

Now, I am one to get my hopes up. I expect a lot, and frequently receive very little. I can't help it though. I'm a hoper. I love the feeling that things are looking bright. It's kind of intoxicating. I get all excited and start sharing the good news (however potential it may be) with everyone! I think a part of this is me wanting to appear successful to people so that they congratulate me and say really positive things. Why do I crave this? I'm not sure...perhaps it's to counter that personal feeling of inadequacy, or to ward off the negativity I've felt from others throughout my life. I can't say, though, because I just don't know.

However, today's hope is brought to you by a seemingly universal alignment. I started writing comic book reviews because I felt overwhelmed by my normal projects that I had been attempting, and that recently turned into something meaning just a little more. My close friendship with Kristen, and my offer to explore some background-less characters has, also, recently turned into something more.

Meanwhile, I look around me and I see certain resources lining up all on their own. One of my favorite DC Comics writers, J.T. Krul, started a blog of his own (find it here and on my sidebar!), and he starts talking about script styles and formats for comic books. This is something I'm very interested in, and I value his opinion so highly. On my Twitter account ([at]chambernaut), I start getting Followers related to writing comics, creating comics, and resources for doing so. Funny enough, creating a comic was an idea I had recently, in regards to one of my long-time project ideas. I even did some research on it.

A good friend of mine, Taz, presents me with priceless advice and resources through which I can perfect my craft. He also instills such confidence into my own abilities and passion for writing that I can't help but feel better about myself after talking to him. Another person whose opinion I value highly. His perceived frustration with me and my...lack of commitment...is actually a clawing, mad hope that I'll find the success I'm looking for.

All of this, combined together, is just something that I can't ignore. I can't sit here and go, "Oh, what a coincidence." That would undermine the whole reason it's happening. Now this doesn't mean I'm going to go swinging all over the place, jumping from one compulsion to the next. I simply know that these are here. I shall remain surrounded by these fantastic turn-offs and side-trips..."tourist traps," I think I'll call them. I enjoy their company, and I'm very excited and happy about the feeling they provide.

Here's to an outstanding 2012.

Direction

Finally...some clarity.

That elusive feeling of being right on target.

I always thought that this would be the case. I really did. All it took for me to really decide on what to do...and to remain focused on a minimal amount of projects at a time...was the incentive. Now I'm not talking money (more like the potential for money), rather the responsibility of finishing something. The fact that there are other people counting on me to do the work. That's all it took. Amazing, right? I really knew that that's all I needed...but obtaining that feeling, that notion, was the hard part.



So I mentioned last time how I write comic reviews on my Tumblr account. That has since turned into something a little bit more. My So Much Comics review contributions can now be found on another website, a group of which I am a part: Real Comic Guys! They saw what I was doing and liked what I had to offer, and wanted me to join their group. The goal of Real Comic Guys is to provide a sort of "one-stop-shop" website for reviews and news for all kinds of comics from all over the web, as well as developing their own original stuff. They're starting out kind of small right now, as they just recently launched, but I feel like this will go very well, and it's nice to be a part of something bigger that shares my passion of comic books. It feels good to be counted on to finish my reviews. People have told me before that they buy comics based off what I say, and hopefully with this new group I can reach even more people.

Secondly, that cartoon in development has suddenly exploded into my main focus. Forget everything else I was doing (except comics :P). This project is going to be what I pour myself into. I met with the creator, named Frank, and my good friend Kristen, who's the art director. They like what I'm bringing to the table in terms of the characters and some thematic ideas for the show. We're all working together, and it's going to be excellent to be a part of a creative team like this. So now they, too, are counting on me to get stuff completed and to them. We have goals that are set. We have schedules (however loose they currently are) to keep. There are plans in place to get certain parts of this done by certain dates. So a lot of it is riding on me to have the story built and completed to the point it's needed.

See Kristen's artwork for project "Galaxy Travelers" on her blog: Howling Wolf Art.

So it seems like all the pieces I need are in place.

1. I'm excited about the project.
2. I have the tools I need.
3. I have the people counting on me.
4. I see the goals set in place for the future.

I'm more responsible for these projects now. Whereas, before, if I didn't get them done it wasn't a big deal because it didn't affect anybody else. Now it's different. Now, if I don't do it...it's my reputation on the line. And I guess that means something to me.

So here goes nothing, and I really hope this cartoon takes off and is bought by some distributing company so that we can all make lots of money. :)

Oh, and so you can all enjoy it too. ;)

What does it take to get you motivated? Are there "pieces" that you look for to keep you involved in a project? Do you think I should get an agent, now that I'm writing for something in development that could one day be bought and distributed? Or should I wait until we're closer to that point?

Hopping

Some old problems return....

Severe writing ADD and genre changing. You mad, bro?

I honestly feel like my brain is trolling my brain.

So I know I have not updated this blog in a long time, and there really is a reason for that. I have been taking a break from my own, creative writing projects (or exercises) so that I may kind of let my brain rest. It's exhausting to always just create, create, create, create, create, and create from nothing at all. To bring to life entire worlds, filled with real and full characters that live and breathe and make decisions that affect other characters around them, and all that. I guess I'm just not used to all that yet, on such a constant basis.

So I stepped away. I put everything on hold and started doing something else. Now, it's been made abundantly clear that I'm a fan of comic books. So, since I still wanted to write - don't want to completely dry up here, now do I? - I started a Tumblr account dedicated entirely to my love of comic books. On it, I "review" every comic book I read (I hate using the word "review," because I am by no stretch a professional of the business, but there you have it). So, if you're interested in that, you can check out my Tumblr here: http://somuchcomics.tumblr.com. Now, I have been spending almost all my time there, writing and researching. I've also been forming what I call "working acquaintances" with the various comic creators themselves. I've got some of them even following my Twitter account ([at]chambernaut)! And I've gained a loyal following of everyday readers. Hurray!

This has actually brought something out in me...something I've had in my head for a little bit. There's one story that I have been developing for years. It has so much content and so much to offer. I honestly don't think it would fit into one or two books, and especially not a screenplay. So...what's left? Comic books, of course. I had an epiphany, and I realized that this idea would make a great comic book! Now...how do you make a comic book? Well, I'm getting there, very slowly, and I'm looking at a couple of companies for publishing - Image Comics, for example. So we'll see where that goes.

But here's the problem, folks - and here's where that trolling comes in, I've always had the tendency to "project hop," and go from one thing to the next. This has been pointed out to me many times. Currently, the screenplay I started is still lying untouched since I put it on hold. I've been doing the comic reviews. Recently, another opportunity has appeared...for me to write a pilot for a cartoon series that a dear friend of mine is involved in (for her incredible art blog, go here: http://howling-wolf-art.blogspot.com). This is something I'd love to do...and I discovered something about myself.

I can do the half-hour format very well.

So...where I'm able to write and finish a half-hour script...am I not yet meant to try and tackle a feature-length screenplay? Is this the sign I needed? Am I not ready for movies? It's a shame, because I definitely have a lot of great ideas that I want to develop...and this just means I have to wait longer to see them through. Perhaps I need to master the half-hour format first and then try to take on feature-length scripts, once I'm experienced enough. Now...I'm okay with this discovery, truly I am. In fact, I'm excited about it! I'm so glad I've found something that fits! And it's TV! I do like TV, and cartoons!


Let's play catch up here. I have my not-so-half-finished screenplay sitting on hold. I have the comics Tumblr that's becoming more and more popular. I have this cartoon that I hope to get into. And I want to write and create a comic book series. That's four very different projects! All at once! Not to mention, all the while, I'm still coming up with more and more ideas! Since starting all this listed above, I've come up with TWO new ideas that I'm excited about and want to develop! One is more like a feature-length, and the other is more like a TV mini-series. Maybe two 2-hour episodes. Something you'd see on SyFy Channel.

INSANE, RIGHT?! I mean, how am I supposed to compete with this brain of mine?! How did I ever think I had any hope of surviving?! What am I supposed to do? What am I supposed to focus on right now? What am I meant for? I feel like I don't have time to focus on each thing individually, at a time, because then I'll have lost opportunities and moments of potential. I feel like I need to try everything at once so that I don't miss out on anything. It's a very frantic, uncomfortable feeling.

Aside from telling myself to relax and focus on one project at a time, anyone have any advice for me? Does anyone find that they're okay with working on multiple projects at a time? Here's another thing...some of these comic creators are covering more than one book a month. So I know it's possible...and I know I can at least attempt that much...but what's the secret? The time management secret?